On my Christmas wish list, I asked for my secret Santa to take apart my clunky office desk. I’ve been on a de-cluttering kick since I graduated, and seeing the ugly wooden desk in my room everyday reminded me of all the junk I’ve hoarded, just for the sake of hoarding.

I donate my clothes every season, but I still have a very large closet with only five outfits that I regularly wear. I have a year’s worth of National Geographic and Time Magazines that I have not read, but will someday, but not yet because I’m busy. I have the most random trinkets that I like to look at, i.e. a collection of gems, because minerals rock. Or a miniature model of a pterodactyl skeleton in a glass display. You want thingamabobs? I’ve got twenty. After all, “The purpose of tchotchkes is to make you happy”, said Lorelai Gilmore. I am the queen of tchotchkes. If I had no self- control, my room would look like the Paxton Gate store in San Francisco or your grandmother’s attic.

I bought the cheapest, most minimal desk from IKEA. So minimal in fact, that IKEA labels it as a “tabletop and legs” to avoid false advertisement. So far my new tabletop and legs make me feel productive as heck. There are no drawers for me to hide things in, forcing me to keep organized. I never want to leave my room, but what’s new?

Let the purge begin!